My love/hate relationship with ADHD

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. It started in my first class today when I just didn't seem to grasp what was going on; the instructions were not very clear and I felt bad making the teacher come back and forth to help (she doesn't get it). Plus I didn't do so hot on a midterm that I thought I studied enough for. I guess I could have studied a little more; nothing like feeling so prepared and failing. School is such a struggle for me. We had a quiz today in another class, only 15 questions. I studied; I was studying today before the class. I think I did pretty well, but we know how that goes. Last time I thought this, I got a C. As I was studying I noticed I couldn't focus on what I needed to study. So... I opened my desk drawer, grabbed my bottle of medicine, shook out one pill, stared at it for a second, thinking to myself "what am I about to do?" then threw it back with some water. For the first time this semester, I had taken my medicine. ...

Today was going well. I woke up and went to my 9:30 class (tired as ever) and then went to the cafe around 11 to eat some lunch. Now I'm sitting in my 2:00 class finding it hard to pay attention. But this is weird.. I don't think this is something my medicine can fix. It may be able to help me focus but it can't just shut off my brain like a light switch, though I wish it could. My mind is racing! There are so many things going on in my head. There is some unnecessary drama from the past that I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about past arguments with my boyfriend, past issues I've dealt with, what I ate for lunch yesterday, what to plan for this coming weekend, and that I have to remember to grab my co-worker a sub from subway when I get dinner before work. Plus my heart is hurting for a friend that I can't help because all I ever want to do it be there for my friends when in need, so that's weighing on me.. I can't process all this and its drai...