Accept Your Flowers

I'm sitting here watching Seinfeld on a Friday night, just ate a bowl of popcorn - this has become my new weekday ritual. I had been thinking about something that happened recently, for a couple days now, and figured it would be a good thing to write about: Accept your flowers.

I was working out one morning - it was lower body day, had hip thrusts on the menu. I like to refer to my exercises for the day as "on the menu" lol - i don't know, seems cool. Anyway i loaded the bar, had four plates on each side. That's a total of 405 pounds. I believe i had to do 3 sets of 5 reps that day. My newest gym friend, B, was nearby wrapping up her workout, finishing with abs. We were laughing, cutting up, then i hopped into my first set. She was watching, like you would your child performing a new gymnastics move you two have been practicing for a while; watching for form, completion, waiting to congratulate after nailing it. I went in, hit 5 solid reps, one after the other. I dropped the bar, rolled it tirelessly out in front of me so i could stand up and contemplate the rest of my life after all that weight, and looked at B. Nodding her head with positivity she says, "Good work! Nice! You're a beast!" To which i replied, "Thanks! Whew.." and with a shaky, awkward pause I uttered, "..We're beasts." She stopped, looked at me and said, "No. Accept your flowers! No need to comment with another compliment. Accept your flowers! You're a beast!" Internally i froze. I can only imagine what my facial expression looked like. I was in shock. She caught me. I didn't know what to say, how to respond. So I admitted, "Ugh.. you're right. I tend to do that.." She reassured me, "You're good, you're a beast, own it." 

Now i am going off memory; this was a few days ago so this conversation may not be verbatim, but it's spot on, especially about the "accept your flowers" part. But this statement has obviously stuck with me enough to want to write about it, and share it with you all (whoever even reads this lol). It's important to accept your flowers when given. You do not have to make yourself less than or equal to another person for you to feel good about yourself; it does more hurt than benefit. All my life i did not think i was of value. Remember when i tried out for softball my freshman year of high school? I went out there, adult glove too big for my hand, some sneakers, and heart. No experience, never played a regulation game before.. the coaches were shocked. They couldn't believe how natural i was at fielding all the balls they threw at me. And i couldn't even think about the great things they were saying. I mean i could, but at the same time i was like, "Mannn, they're lying. These other girls have been playing travel ball, they have experience, they're just making me feel good." But then came the day where they posted the list on the equipment shed after the last day of tryouts -JV team and Varsity team - and there my name was.. under Varsity! Granted i was so excited; i was ecstatic honestly! But look what i did to myself? These coaches were telling the truth! They really thought i was good; so good i made varsity. I may not have started (too many seniors, already had positions, etc.) but i was on the varsity team. 

I just cannot seem to accept my flowers when given. I got a promotion this past year. I called my aunt N to tell her the good news, and then immediately shut it down by saying, "no new duties, i don't know how i got it, i don't work everyday looking for promotions, i just log in and do my job that i love.." She stopped me and said, "Stop that! Women tend to beat themselves down when something good happens to them, and they need to stop it. You earned that promotion so be proud of it! I am happy for you!" And damn if she wasn't right. I earned that. And i needed to be proud of myself!

There is ONE reason i thought of while writing this, as to why some people do not share their accomplishments or sing their own praise. Because there are those who look at it negatively, as if you're bragging or gloating. But something else i have learned is that that is a personal problem - THEIR personal problem. If you tell someone something exciting, and they are not just as excited, if not MORE excited, then they do not care for your success and they do not have a place in your life. They will tear themselves down and take you with them. I've learned the hard way. But i am here to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH! We are going to accept our flowers when give. We are going to obnoxiously inhale through our nose the fragrant perfumes of the pedals, and we are going to put them in a big ole vase in the middle of our coffee table, or kitchen counter, or dining room table.. wherever you can see them everyday to remind yourself that you are a BEAST!

Accept your flowers, babe <3