Own That Shit!

 Hey all..

So it's been about 3 months since i started anxiety meds. I was being patient (Me?! Patient?! HA!) and waited about 8 weeks to let the meds do their thing, but yesterday during my appointment, i thought to myself, "Are they working? Do i notice a difference? How can I tell?" So i talked it over with my doctor and got a better understanding of how I should be feeling, how I should react to certain situations, etc. to better notice if the meds are working or if I need to increase my dosage. After talking we decided to increase them, but that I may not need to go higher after this adjustment. I dunno, we'll see. So here's day 1 of increased meds.

In the meantime, I have always been a creative. I have ADHD, what do you expect? I can be very crafty when I want to be. My latest crafting has been with the Cricut cutting machine. This thing is pretty cool! You can be as basic or intricate as your imaginative brain allows. I've practiced and made cards, stickers, labels - I made little markers for my herbs in my garden; they were so cute! ..until the sun faded the words and weather caused the laminated signs to pop off the popsicle sticks. I got tired of fixing them after a while. But it was fun! My main goal was to eventually make T-shirts. Making T-shirts had always been an idea of mine, making a little extra income while setting aside time to drown out the world and just be creative. I just didn't have an idea of what I wanted to make. What did I want to stand for? What would my vision be?..

So i've been going to the gym for a while now - about 3+ years. I was a beginner, of course; i knew nothing. My boyfriend has been lifting weights since high school, so he knows a thing or two *wink*. It was not until this past November that I was just sick of the gym. I had no vision, no structure.. actually I think i covered this in my last post.. ANYWAY.. Yea so i found a program and i am still following it, loving all the workouts and loving that i already know what i am doing each day. My mindset has changed though. I no longer want to workout to lose weight and be small or whatever. My focus now has been to just get strong. I like the idea of being strong; not even looking the part, but just pulling that strength out like a magician does with a rabbit and a hat. It feels so empowering to lift something so heavy. It feels even more empowering doing it as a woman! Strength comes in all forms, whether it be the gym, being a single parent, or overcoming an eating disorder or trauma, maybe you are taking control of your mental health.. what have you. Whatever makes you strong, you should own it! Be a badass! Own that shit! Whatever "strength" means to you, you should own it!

So it hit me.. "That's it! That's my vision! 'Own your strength'!" This means a lot to ME because i have always seen myself as weak. I've been mistreated as a friend, I never stand up for myself, i wasn't that strong in the gym.. just weak in every meaning of the word. (Ugh that was a vulnerable moment). Anywho, i just want to be seen. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be strong, to stand up for myself against others AND against myself. I am taking charge in my mental health. I'm taking charge in the gym, lifting heavy and taking up space! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!! Okay, okay, enough lol. My point is, I want to be stronger, in every sense. I want to believe in myself and own it! Because i have NEVER given myself enough credit..EVER! That's what it means for me.

So i played with ideas on my Cricut machine, and bought an EasyPress (super cheap, used/like-new off Amazon and had a $10 gift card from somewhere i forget - boom!) and just practiced some designs and pressed it onto an old white Tee i dug out from the bottom of a drawer. A friend i made at the gym saw what i came up with and asked if i could make her something specific for her. We bounced some ideas and i got my creative juices flowing one evening and came up with something; she LOVED it, had some tweaks of her own to suggest. I did a practice run to get the concept of pressing designs down. I am so excited to make this for her. In fact, she wants a couple shirts made - this is going to be so fun!

So yea, I've upped my meds and i think i may have an idea for making shirts. If i get enough attention or if enough people like the idea and concept behind it, I'd love to make some extra money off of it. I'm just hoping I don't get bored with it after while and move to something else.. ya know.. like I usually do... cuz ADHD.. LOL

I have ALSO taken up couponing!! THAT, my friends, is neat. There are videos all over TikTok of people showing you how to coupon. I consider it a new hobby of mine, and a fairly inexpensive one at that! I've had some fails, but who hasn't? - that's the best way to learn. My personal best so far is getting $62 worth of toiletries for a whopping $2! That's right folks - TWO. DOLLA. So that has also been keeping me busy. But really only on Sundays, because that's when new coupons come out lol. A high school friend of mine was couponing and it caught my eye one day. So that's how I got started, and now we are thinking of creating a Facebook group for our Facebook friends who want to learn how to coupon themselves - how fun!?

To being crafty, saving money, and being strong.. whatever that may mean to YOU!

-Til next time